


Words Exchanged in this Liminal Space

by ineedagoodusername



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Airports, Goodbyes, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rebirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24727150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedagoodusername/pseuds/ineedagoodusername
Summary: Liminality is defined as a threshold; an in-between within space and time; a moment between ‘what was’ and ‘what will be’.Reborn into a different lifetime, Doumeki Shizuka and Watanuki Kimihiro have a conversation in an airport gate at 2 AM. They both can’t shake the almost ancient pull, that feeling of inevitability, that only existed in that liminal space.
Relationships: Doumeki Shizuka & Watanuki Kimihiro, Doumeki Shizuka/Watanuki Kimihiro
Comments: 17
Kudos: 67





	Words Exchanged in this Liminal Space

**Author's Note:**

> Rebirth AU + Airport AU + Deep Personal Reflection = this fic
> 
> I was laying in bed one night and thought of liminal spaces, specifically vacant airports, came to mind. Then, I thought that it’s the perfect setting for a deeply uncomfortable conversation on change, especially considering COVID times.
> 
> Who better else to have that conversation than Doumeki and Watanuki?
> 
> \--
> 
> A big thank you to Katz and my bff for beta reading my fic!!

_It’s just a short flight, only an hour and a half_ , thought Kimihiro Watanuki. _It’s nothing to feel nervous about._

The black-haired man glanced at his phone a few times, reading the time but not really registering it into his head. 

All he could really think about was how dark and ominous the skies looked from the large airport windows. Despite being teased by classmates, he always couldn’t help but think that there were otherworldly things that came out at the dead of night. Could airplanes really see that far away in the darkness? Was it really that safe?

Goosebumps forming on his skin, Watanuki lugged his backpack around, footsteps echoing in the mostly empty side of the airport. 

He walked on, passing by small restaurants and 24-hour convenience stores and cafes with bright, colourful displays of energy bars and bottles of carbonated drinks, fit for individuals with only travel in mind. There were barely any people around, not that Watanuki minded. After all, it was about past one in the morning and he was in a small airport in the Miyazaki region with only ten gates.

“ _Last call for Flight 310 to Kagoshima_ .” announced a robotic-sounding woman, voice bouncing off the white walls of the airport. “ _Gate will be closing soon. Last call for Flight 310 to Kagoshima_.”

Watanuki looked at his ticket. Still an hour to go before his flight to Tokyo.

He sighed.

“Gate 4… okay, where are you…” muttered the young man to himself softly, as he walked around the airport. 

Though all the stores were bright and beckoning, the man found it just as eerie to see open shops with barely any customers. An unknown feeling would churn in the pit of his stomach, as he looked around.

- _is here, but also not here. The only people who go into these shops are the people who must._

“Huh?” 

He almost stopped at the thought that had popped into his head. Somehow, it wasn’t the voice inside his head that spoke for that one thought. Instead, it belonged to someone else entirely, but who?

An image almost came to mind, but it was fuzzy and faded. 

The young man shook his head clear of the strange thoughts. He really didn’t do well from staying up late- it was a wonder how he made it through all those years in university. 

Watanuki could have sworn he knew her. _Her_? At least, he thought it was a woman. He wasn’t too sure. Everything in the moment felt so off, like he had stepped into a vortex outside of the world he knew.

Definitely, after a few more minutes of wandering around, things were off. How did he manage to get lost in a small airport, when the signs clearly told him where to go?

_Strange_ , he thought.

“Um, excuse me?” asked Watanuki softly, approaching a woman. “Can I ask for help, please?”

“Why, of course.” replied the woman, smiling serenely. “What is it that you wish, dear?”

She looked both young and a thousand years old all at once. There was something in that slow smile that should have scared Watanuki, but then he wasn’t. For some reason, Watanuki felt his heart rate pick up ever so slightly, like he was seeing an old friend.

“I know this sounds silly, but I can’t seem to find my way into Gate 4.”

“Ah. That’s simple enough, but did you know the price for finding such a place?”

“Eh?” The young man stared at the woman. “Was there an additional airport fee that I missed at the check-in? I’m sure I already paid those…”

Just to be sure, he frantically patted down his pockets. Boarding ticket. Wallet. I.D. Keys to his apartment back at home, in Tokyo. Some receipts. Everything seemed to be in order, but there didn’t seem to be any additional receipts to show for it.

“Not a fee,” Laughing slow and deep, the woman blinked her eyes at the young man. “But a price.”

“A price?” echoed the man, feeling almost like a child again.

“Yes. A price to find these spaces.” nodded the woman. “Do you know what a liminal space is?”

“Uh… I honestly don’t recall. I’m sorry about that.” 

Watanuki bowed his head awkwardly towards her, eyebrows connected sheepishly. Everything felt even more strange by the second, like the _hour of the bull_ \- the witching hour- was upon them, but he was too busy rubbing at his tired eyes to notice.

“That’s okay. It’s uncommon in the way that’s explained.” She replied gently, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Liminal spaces are spaces of transition, of change. Spaces In-between what was and what will be. Commonplace examples are things like gas stations or cross roads.”

“Rest stops?”

“Yes and no. These spaces serve a sole purpose, and that is to get you from origin to destination. A threshold of sorts. See here? This airport is a liminal space. You are only here because of your need to be elsewhere.”

Her dress seemed to sway despite the woman standing completely still. Feeling chills down his neck, the young man continued to listen to those words.

_A liminal space_ , he thought. Huh.

“But what do these spaces have to do with Gate 4?” 

“Oh, everything.” She smiled. Then, with a slender finger, she pointed to her left. “If you go past that cafe over there and head straight down, you’ll be able to find what you need.”

“Ah, okay, thank you!” He bowed and then immediately trotted off.

“Goodbye, Watanuki-kun.”

A few feet away, Watanuki realised he forgot about the fee, or price, that the woman had mentioned. Upon turning around to ask about it, however, the man realised she was gone. And that he couldn’t remember a single identifiable thing about her. Not her hair, her eyes, even the dress she was wearing.

Yet somehow, he knew her. He _knew_ that he spoke with her, about prices to pay and liminal spaces, but…

Who was she?

And did she just say his name?

Watanuki tried to quell his racing heartbeat. He tried to look back again, hoping she would be back. Maybe he just imagined her saying his name. Or maybe the woman herself was a figment of his imagination.

Shrugging his shoulders, he turned around and followed her directions, past the cafe to the left and straight down. He had a flight to catch, after all. It’s not like he had a lifetime to wait for her to return.

—-

“This is definitely not Gate 4!” wailed Watanuki.

Instead of a gate, he instead found himself in a long, terrifyingly empty, white hallway, in a significantly less occupied portion of the airport. It made no sense for it to exist in such a small airport. It definitely didn't make sense for Watanuki to be lost in an airport with only ten gates- how could he not find such a place? It's almost as if he was kept from finding it! Being naively hopeful, Watanuki had walked down up until the middle of the hallway, where he could see a dead end.

Bizarre. The man couldn't stop himself from feeling incredibly unsettled. Even if the fluorescent lights shone bright, he couldn’t shake the feeling that the lights were going to flicker any second.

There was something always odd about empty hallways with dead ends.What was the point of such a place meant to lead you to a destination, if it only led you to nowhere? Perhaps it could have been poor architectural design, but still, it was just so _bizarre_ to be in. 

Supernatural, almost.

Shuddering slightly, Watanuki nervously looked around. He wasn’t too fond of the creeps he got from standing where he was.

“I’m definitely lost! And this is most definitely not Gate 4.” Watanuki complained loudly to thin air, yanking at his backpack straps in frustration. He had half a mind to go back and tell that woman off, but he couldn’t even remember her face!

He checked his phone. 1:50 AM.

“Late…” sighed Watanuki, closing the lock screen. . “Now I’m going to be late, and I don’t even know where I am. How did I even get lost in a tiny airport like this, anyways-”

“Oi.”

A deep rumble directly behind Watanuki caused him to jump almost two feet in the air, a shrill scream echoing in the corridor. Outraged, he whirled around clumsily in an attempt to see who the jackass who scared him was.

It was a man who looked roughly his age. He was tall, with dark hair and broad, defined shoulders. He had a rather warm beige complexion, that complimented the black turtleneck, dark trousers, and stoic, almost expressionless face that he wore. 

Watanuki was sure this man had all kinds of ladies swooning over him, and decided he didn’t like him. However, there was something in those golden-hazel eyes, so different from his own dark ocean blue ones, that got to him.

He felt… oddly familiar.

“H-Hey!” He shouted, jabbing a finger at the taller man’s chest. “What’s the big idea?”

“Loud.” said the man, immediately covering his ears with both of his palms. He was one of those ‘one-word’ types of men- definitely, the popular kind of guy that everyone found cool. This guy was really pissing off the shorter man.

“Jerk! You’re the one who scared me!”

“I heard screaming.”

“Ngh,” Watanuki almost growled from spite. Cheeks tinged deep pink, the man pressed the ridge of his round, steel-rimmed glasses and huffed. “I got lost, and panicked, okay? I’m just trying to find Gate 4.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? What do you mean, ‘oh’?” 

Not even blinking, the taller man merely jerked his head to the entrance of the corridor, signaling for Watanuki to follow him. Then, he turned around and calmly began walking out of the hallway, as silently as he had come in.

“Hey, use your words, you ass! Where are you even going?” shouted Watanuki, long, gangly limbs flailing around as he reluctantly stared at the moving figure. “Why should I even follow you? I don’t know you!” 

Yet, he couldn’t help but follow the other person out of the strange, empty space.

His feet just moved on their own, and Watanuki couldn’t explain why he wasn’t as alarmed as he should be. Pissed off, yes, but concerned? It felt like an old habit that he didn’t realize he had, akin to how high school friends would walk home together after classes. 

\---

Gate 4 ended up right outside the hallway, much to Watanuki’s chagrin.

Even more annoying than that, however, was the taller man taking a seat beside him. When the other few rows of seats were empty.

“Why are you here, you creepy oaf?” He snapped at the blank-faced man, who had merely crossed his arms and stared straight ahead in silence, as if he wasn’t being screamed shrill at. 

“I also have a flight.”

“Well, _duh_!”

Watanuki knew very well how mean and unreasonable he was acting. The man, as silent and annoying as he was, did help him, after all.

Deep down, he felt that picking a fight was also part of the script with this other man, instead of being his usual self and saying thank you. Somehow, it was familiar to be rude to him, the same way it was okay for him to sit beside this man who he had never seen before in his life.

They sat in silence.

For a long while, Watanuki could only think about what was ahead. 

It worried him.

“ _Attention all passengers for Flight 457A. Flight 457A to Tokyo, at 2:30 AM has been delayed._ ” announced a man, static piercing his voice overhead. “ _Once again, Flight 457A to Tokyo at 2:30 AM has been delayed. Estimated new departure time is now 4:00 AM.”_

“Seriously?”

Watanuki grabbed at his hair and pulled. That was _his_ scheduled flight. Nothing worse than delaying the stress of a flight he didn’t even want to get on. Could this night get any worse?

“Gah!” cried out the man again, in frustration. He looked at his phone.

_2:00 AM. Hour of the Bull._

“How are you not upset about this?” He couldn’t help but ask the taller, significantly more relaxed man beside him.

“It happens.” shrugged the other man. “Could’ve been worse.”

Biting back a scream, Watanuki scrunched up his face in exasperation. He breathed in and out as slowly and steadily as he could.

“I hate flying.” 

The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Flustered at this, Watanuki turned to his companion, but saw that the other man simply looked at him in expectation. His gaze was so intense, it felt like there were holes being drilled into Watanuki’s skull.

“What, are you going to make fun of me?”

“No.” responded the man coolly. “Tempting to, though.”

“You jerk!”

Gripping his dark trousers, the more energetic man released a slow breath. Everything about this felt so surreal. He was stuck in a small airport with a stranger, at 2 in the morning, and with a large reluctance to even board the flight he stressed out finding.

“Doumeki.”

“Huh?” said Watanuki, staring at the other man.

“Thought you should know my name before you start blabbing.” said the stoic man, eyeing him with the same, unchanged expression. “Doumeki Shizuka. What’s your name?”

“I-,” uttered the shorter man, but then he stopped himself. _I already know that_ , he was about to say, but that was ridiculous. He would have remembered someone as smug and irritating as this man, had he ever met him before, right? “Watanuki Kimihiro.”

“Hn.”

“Don’t just ‘hm’ at me- I- you know what? Forget it.” huffed the man in glasses. He gripped his elbow and turned his head to the dark window. “I hate flying. I really don’t want to board that plane.”

He didn’t know why he was talking.

Really, he didn’t know why he was pouring out his heart to a stranger.

Perhaps he had walked into an alternate reality when he had entered that hallway. Like pockets in space and time, akin to a quaint Japanese building in a lot that Watanuki sometimes saw in his dreams.

No one else saw it in his dreams, they just saw an abandoned lot.

“Scared?” asked Doumeki, interrupting Watanuki’s thoughts.

“What? No! Bastard.” Watanuki glared at the other man, who didn’t even flinch. “Well… it’s not the actual flying I’m scared of, anyways.”

Doumeki just raised an eyebrow at him, saying nothing.

“It's just… I’m stuck, okay?” The energetic man glared at the calmer one as he leaned back on the uncomfortable airport seat. His stomach churned from admitting one of his fears to this random man. “I’m done with my Master’s degree here. I stayed here for the last few years of my life, and I also work here. But… everything’s changing.”

Regarding him wordlessly, Doumeki nodded. It made Watanuki frown.

“Man of few words, huh?” He said.

“Hn,” replied Doumeki, as if to prove a point.

Watanuki sighed heavily. _There’s no changing you, huh,_ he suddenly thought. It was a strange thing to think, but the man decided that things were simply not normal in this place.

“Everything’s changing,” said the quieter man suddenly. “What did you mean by that?”

“Uh…”

Adjusting his glasses on his face, Watanuki pondered the question. It wasn’t that he didn’t mean what he said. He knew the feelings behind the words, but it was something hard to explain to himself, let alone an outsider. Sure, he was a loud person, but loud didn’t always mean better in communication.

“I guess it’s the way my life is going, so far.” admitted the man, after a few minutes. “It’s like, all of a sudden, everyone my age is employed full time, or starting a business, or even getting engaged. Changing.”

He thought about his friends in university, and how people in his life just _grew up_ in the blink of an eye. Then, he thought about the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, the world’s most populous metropolis. Everyone just rushed past, and there he was, frozen in time.

Doumeki blinked and then nodded slowly at him. “But you did graduate.”

“Yeah, I did but,” sighed the less quiet of the two. “It’s not like I’ve got anything planned, now. I just work at a shop, full time now, and life is easy. Family and friends want me to go back home, to Tokyo, but it’s easier said than done. I’m stuck.”

He shrugged his shoulders and looked at the less talkative man. 

Did he ever express anything other than, well, nothing? Watanuki couldn’t help but think about the silent man beside him. Okay, so not nothing, but Doumeki definitely seemed to have a permanent serious look to match his personality.

“It doesn’t sound like you’re stuck.” pointed out the stoic man.

“What do you mean?”  
  
“You’re travelling. To Tokyo. That’s not stuck.”

Biting his lip, Watanuki stared out into the void. He couldn’t really explain the uncertainty of his feelings. It would have been dumb to do so, anyhow.

“I… don’t really want to go.”

“Why?”

Watanuki didn’t respond. That was the million yen question, wasn’t it? Honestly, he desired nothing more than to create a life for himself, the same way everyone else in university here and back in Tokyo did. Something that wasn’t stagnant. 

In spite of this, he was still _terrified_ of going.

“I feel I owe it to myself. If I went back, all the effort I put into coming here to study will be for nothing.” He confessed. “I could just stay here, in this prefecture, and continue this life. It’s quiet and easy. I already know this life.”

He noticed how the other man’s brow furrowed. Was that disdain…?

“Will it really make you happy?” was all Doumeki asked. “Staying here?”

”Oh, well,” exhaled the shorter man, staring back into those golden-hazel eyes. “I feel it might. It’s just… _easier_. To stay. I’m sure my loved ones will understand if I decide not to board.? Agh! I don’t know.”

“Mm.” 

_Will they?_ Was the question that was unasked.

Despite not saying more, the two just knew what Watanuki was trying so hard to say. Life in Tokyo was going to be scarily unpredictable. He wouldn’t know what to expect of that future, if he decided to go. 

It would mean that he would have to give up everything, his life here, in this quiet province.

He would have to let go.

The blue-eyed man wondered, maybe in a different lifetime, perhaps they would have been friends. Maybe then he wouldn’t need to explain too much- Doumeki would have already understood the context.

“Anyways, I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes talking.” said Watanuki, tossing his hands up in the air. “How about you? Why are you heading back to Tokyo?”

“My father died.”

“Oh. Uh…” trailed off Watanuki, feeling awkward. “Were you close?”

“No.”

“I see.”

Watanuki just looked at the other man, searching for a trace of discomfort in his face and finding nothing. In fact, he felt that Doumeki looked relaxed, almost. The lines in his face seemed less harsh, even his brow appeared to have softened.

Shaking his head, the energetic man almost laughed at himself.

_Look at me_ , thought Watanuki, _thinking that I know a random jerk in an airport in Miyazaki. I need tea. Or sleep. Something._

_Grrrrr_.

A harsh gurgling sound suddenly caught Watanuki’s attention. He turned and saw the man beside him wordlessly place a hand on his stomach. Of course, his face showed no sign of embarrassment.

“You should’ve brought something to eat.” scolded Watanuki. “Wait here.”

Pulling his backpack into his lap, he dug through its contents until he felt the outline of a shallow box, wrapped up in a plastic bag. It was the bento Watanuki had made, just in case. He remembered being unable to leave the rented apartment until he had made it.

“Here.” Watanuki shoved the bento into Doumeki’s hands. “You can have everything but the inarizushi.”

He wasn’t surprised when Doumeki ate that first.

“Jerk! Taking advantage of my kindness.” chided the man, arms flailing again as the taller man munched on the fried tofu skin and rice. “I told you not to eat that! Next time, you can just go buy an overpriced airport sandwich.”

Unbothered, Doumeki kept on chewing.

The sight made Watanuki’s cheeks heat up. Although many people In university worshipped his cooking, there was something incredibly gratifying to see a silent stranger devour his food like it was manna from heaven.

_Like you missed my cooking_ , thought Watanuki absentmindedly.

“Next time, make feudal udon.”

“Don't ask me to make things that no longer exist, asshole!”

Somehow, everything was a long running joke. All the puzzle pieces fell into place, and it felt so right.Even if Doumeki was an asshole.

“You should eat.” said Doumeki suddenly, holding out Watanuki’s neatly packed bento back at him. “We share the burden.”

Once again, silence settled between them. Nodding, Watanuki quietly accepted his own food- which would have been hilarious had it not been so unsettling- from the handsome man beside him.

Doumeki took a slow breath and let it out gently. Then, he leaned forward, both hands clasped and arms resting on his thighs.

“I’m going back to take over the temples.” He said. “It belongs to our family. My father didn’t care for it, and I’m next in line to maintain it.”

“Temples? Huh.” noted Watanuki. “Do you want to?”

“Hn.” _Sure, it’s whatever._ He seemed to say.

“Why?”

Shrugging, Doumeki sat straight back up. “It makes sense. No one else knows how to care for it. No one else in the family.”

“But that seems…” Watanuki struggled to find the words. Resigned? Stuck? Shitty? “Like a lot of responsibility on your hands. What about your happiness? Your work here? Doesn’t it bother you to give up everything you care about?”

“I just worked a job here. It didn’t mean anything.” responded the calmer man. 

A lady overhead suddenly announced a few different names, calling them to the desk at Gate 6. They watched as a few people walked back and forth. Lost souls roaming around in rest stops in the dead of night.

“I’m not stuck like you, Watanuki.” 

Rather taken aback, the blue-eyed man looked at Doumeki. He considered shrieking at him for a second, but instead he chose to keep quiet and just gave a questioning look.

“I’ve made a choice.” sighed Doumeki, as if it took every ounce of energy to utter more than a sentence. “You don’t want to.”

Feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, Watanuki snapped, “But I did! I’m going back, aren’t I? Until I figure out what to do.”

“Didn’t you want to turn back?” Golden-hazel eyes landed on Watanuki.

“I…” He murmured, staring at his hands. “I did. But I also have a flight to catch.”

“What do you want?”

“What do I want? T-That’s not- that isn’t- that isn’t important, is it?” stuttered the more energetic man, throwing his hands in the air. 

Then, Watanuki steadied himself. He exhaled harshly, looking out into the night. “Human hearts are selfish, anyways, prioritizing their wants over everything, even reason. I _swear_ someone told me that once.”

“But selfishness is relative, Watanuki.”

That. That struck the ocean-eyed young man. He wasn’t sure why he felt like walking, no, running away, and sticking fingers in his ears to not hear those words. All of sudden, he just couldn’t bear the weight of them.

“What… do you mean?” He asked, voice sounding small and childish.

What did it mean, selfishness is relative? What was so wrong in being unable to make a decision? There were so many questions he didn’t know he had. Talking to Doumeki opened up a vault of endless questions. 

Why make him choose?

With a sigh, Watanuki held out a closed first. He watched as Doumeki looked at him, and without question, held out a free hand to accept the gift.

A boiled egg.

“Since you’re so hungry,” said Watanuki. “Why are you looking at it like that? Nothing’s gonna hatch from it, you know.”

Still, the taller man stared at the egg sitting on his wide palm. The image sent a tiny chill up Watanuki’s spine and oddly enough, a tugging ache in his pinky finger. There it was again, that feeling of familiarity that he couldn’t explain.

_Hitsuzen_. 

Watanuki knew that was the word.

“Doumeki?” He asked, unsure of why he didn’t use honorifics and why it felt okay.

“It felt...”

For a second, the two young men held a breath, staring at each other. There was no denying that they were connected, somehow. This place, this man… it was too weird to be a coincidence. Once again, Watanuki felt that tugging pain on his pinky finger.

“Familiar?” finished Watanuki, in a hushed tone.

Doumeki just nodded, rolling the egg ever so slowly in his palm with his thumb. Had he been a man of more words, perhaps he would have been something terrifying. But, Watanuki knew he wouldn’t.

“Nothing will become of this.” said the quiet man, softly, holding out the egg. 

Watanuki wondered if he was talking about something else other than the egg. It felt like he was quoting someone, but like everything else, Watanuki couldn’t explain why or how he came to that knowledge. 

They turned their gazes to the vacant seats before them. Though the airport was clean and brightly lit by harsh fluorescent lighting, the ambiance brought about by its continued vacancy was haunting

“You know, our choices affect other people too,” said Doumeki. “Not just ourselves.”

He couldn’t quite respond to that.

“ _Good evening passengers_ ,” A crackly voice announced, breaking the spell. “ _This is the pre-boarding flight announcement for Flight 753G to Narita. We are now inviting those with small children and passengers requiring special assistance to begin boarding at this time…_ ”

The two men listened to the speakers. Watanuki felt his entire body tremble. A heavy, melancholic air fell upon his shoulders, and he knew Doumeki felt the same way.

Time was running out.

Steadily, Doumeki stood up, fixing the folds of his navy blue coat. Watanuki knew it was time for him to leave, and it was pointless to ask him to stay. After all, the man had a flight to catch.

“I’m sorry.” said Watanuki, through the announcer’s loud voice calling for Doumeki’s departure. Suddenly. Frantically. He knew he had to apologize to this man, and it wasn’t for the name calling or the noisy antics. “Doumeki, I’m- I- I’m really sorry.”

Watanuki felt his eyes turn into oceans. 

He wished this man could stay with him, even for a moment longer, but Watanuki knew he couldn’t pay that price.

“Oi,” said Doumeki softly, almost gently. “I need to go now.”

A strong hand grasped the crook of Watanuki’s elbow. _I forgive you_ , he could almost hear Doumeki say, in-between the lines, as sparse as they were.

_Take care._

_I’m sorry._

_I love you._

So many things were left unsaid between the two strangers, as if they had been important to each other, once upon a time. Watanuki had a wish, born from words exchanged in this liminal space. He wished Doumeki and he could continue nightly conversations, even if he did yell a lot. He wished he could continue to cook delicious meals for this man.

Most of all, he wished they had more time.

“Doumeki, I’ll see you again, okay?” whispered Watanuki, staring into that serious face he knew he would never encounter again in this lifetime. “I know it sounds so _crazy_ , but it feels like I know you, a-and- and-”

Watanuki felt the pull in his pinky finger. For a second, he saw it. The long, fine, red string wrapped around both his and Doumeki's little fingers, the string of fate that tied his destiny to the man who had to leave. 

“Mm.” _Me too._ Golden-hazel eyes blazed with emotions so raw that it pained Watanuki to see. “I’m glad I could keep you company again.”

“Again?” chuckled Watanuki softly, eyes stinging.

Doumeki shrugged. For a second, his lips almost curved into a smile. “It felt like something I needed to say. Goodbye, Watanuki.”

“Good...bye. Goodbye, Doumeki.”

One last squeeze, and with that, Doumeki was gone.

\---

Watanuki stared at his smartphone once more. 3:45 AM.

“ _Good evening passengers._ ” The advisory rang throughout the waking airport. _“This is the boarding announcement for passengers for Flight 457A to Tokyo. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready…”_

Thinking deeply of red strings of fate and golden-hazel eyes, the man stared at the neatly printed black words on his ticket. His mind raced with different thoughts, like currents in a river, threatening to pull him under.

In this space, there were only questions and no questions at all. There were no coincidences in the in-between, only inevitability.

Only _hitsuzen_.

Watanuki breathed out slowly, and he looked at his boarding pass once again. Despite all that had happened, there were still choices he had to make for himself and the life he wanted to choose. 

Breathing deeply, he thought of the man of few words and a steadfast expression. Perhaps in another life, Watanuki would have had more time to get to know him. He wondered if the other man wished for them to meet again as fervently as he did. Would Doumeki have forgiven him now, if he stayed, stuck in a threshold?

In between what was and what will be, Watanuki made his choice.

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to think that, in another life, Doumeki and Watanuki would have been honest with each other about their feelings.
> 
> Yet somehow; they probably would have still been wholly themselves.
> 
> \---
> 
> Feel free to leave a kudos and/or comment! I love talking xxxholic and cry about it even when im not hyperfixated


End file.
